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Dressing up for Halloween
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10.18.2005
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As a kid, Halloween was a simple process that consisted of four key phases:
Phase I: Competitive Candy Gathering
Phase II: Candy Trading (apples, pennies or anything other than candy maintain zero negotiating power)
Phase III: Candy Craze - a sleepless night attributed to BOTH a sugar overdose and a fear that your neighbor injected a needle full of arsenic into the giant 3 Musketeers Bar (one of the bigger scores of the evening)
Phase IV: Stash and Salvage: the art of stashing key treats in various secret locations in order to prolong the supply of sweets (timeframe not specific, just need to outlast everyone else)
Now, as an adult, Halloween takes on a whole new meaning but more grown up(ish).
Phase I: Pick Your Pleasure:
a .Those who LOVE to dress up
b. Those who hate to dress up; because they like to stand out as the non-conformist, which is in itself, a costume
c. Those who LOVE to wear purple, furry pimp hats and canes for the eighth year in a row
d. Those who LOVE to slap on fishnets and corsets with any mundane blue-collar costume (i.e. maid, cop, school girl)
Phase II: Consume Party Treats - attend a party where at least 37% of the guests will trade mass quantities of ecstasy in exchange for mass quantities of ecstasy and a really cool ring that spells out PIMP (mainly groups c and d)
Phase III: Candy Craze - a sleepless night attributed to either drugs or having dirty monkey love with the person in the gorilla suit
Phase IV: Shamed & Confused - obsessing about the fact that everyone knows that you dry humped a gorilla in the corner...and went home with “it”.
All in all, Halloween is a fun excuse to binge drink, dress like a ho and hook up with random strangers hiding behind layers of makeup. Wait...that sounds like Thursday in Midtown...So, what’s so damn special about Halloween?! Bring back the trick or treating already. I wanna get me some free candy without having to dress up like a pregnant nun!
ON TAP:
Be sure to hit up Loca Luna tonight for WNDC!
 Kim
RELATED LINK: http:///www.kimistry101.com
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posted by Kim at 6:09 PM |
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