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I BROKE MY 5TH METASOMETHING
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11.07.2005
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Just call me Kim McGimperstein. Before Saturday night, I had never broken a bone, not even a hairline fracture…not even a jammed thumb. I wish I could attribute my shameful fall to angel dust and a will to fly, but I was sober and tripped over my own foot. The hallway was without an inkling of light, but I thought I could descend to my love dungeon with only my dog and a jar of peanut butter to lead me. A mere three steps away from ecstasy I stumbled, arms flailing aimlessly, landing directly on my now defunct wheel. I attribute my 4 to 6 weeks of crutches and immobility to a swift swat from the nightstick of the karma police.
I am certain that the inappropriate purchase that I made not even 24 hours prior was the catalyst of my not-so-graceful “ballerina” fracture.
FACT: I ordered what I thought to be humorous t-shirts on http://www.tshirthell.com/.
A.
B.
FACT: 12 hours after “the fall” I was being wheeled to the bathroom in the ER with a nurse waiting on me to finish “making pee-pee"”
FACT: 24 hours after “the fall” I was driving a rascal in the grocery store (yes, it does beep in reverse), with my parents close by to assist me with my shopping needs
FACT: 48 hours after “the fall” I was being treated like an invalid because I can’t walk, drive, exercise or tie my shoes.
So, I will try to learn from my life’s lesson and do my best to avoid making mean jokes (out loud) about nice people in bad predicaments (therefore abandoning my best ammo when trying to garner laughs and attention from my peers). This sucks…I have so many offensive jokes that I will have to put to bed…at least until my foot heals!
ON TAP:
For those of you with an appreciation for women with two good wheels, check out Atlanta Rollergirls Season 1 Championship Bout on Sunday at 7 PM.
 Kim
RELATED LINK: http:///www.kimistry101.com
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posted by Kim at 4:31 PM |
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