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Insomni-yack
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1.10.2006
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I’m having a serious problem getting to sleep these days…without consuming a bottle of wine or Tylenol PM (just the travel size one). I’m wondering if my insomnia is a sign of a deeper issue, or just the stresses of the day crashing down on me like a meteor at the very moment that my eyelids kiss goodnight.
I decided that I would take some precautionary measures to ensure a peaceful and successful slumber…and there are still no guarantees.
My nighttime ritual looks a little something like this:
Check for monsters and/or life-like clowns under the bed
Put television on some type of white noise programming like FOX News
Stare at the ceiling
Try to beat my high score on BrickBreaker on my BlackBerry
Call T-Mobile operator and wish them a good night
Turn cell phone ringer off
Turn cell phone ringer on in case I miss an important call
Stare at the ceiling
Wrap myself in a blanket burrito to replicate the safety and security of times when sleeping was the major event of the day
Turn cell phone off for good
Stare at the ceiling
Think about the dirty monkey love Geraldo Rivera and I could have if we lived in the same city
Practice my Kegels
Stare at the ceiling
Repeat
I think it’ll work tonight…definitely.
ON TAP:
Wanna chill with the weasel on Sunday? Pauly Shore will be at the Funny Farm. Oh Joy?!
 Kim
RELATED LINK: http://www.kimistry101.com
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posted by Kim at 6:31 PM |
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