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New Year’s is a Time for Changing…My Underpants
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1.03.2006
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Some people use the birth of a new year as an excuse to start over, to make resolutions that will better themselves so that they can finally become the person they see in the Dockers ads…BUT they are stewpid. If you ever want to set yourself up for failure, the most precise way to do so is to fall prey to all the gratuitous advertising aimed directly at your feeble spirit. Usually this advertising is in heavy rotation throughout the holidays, as you stare at your TV screen, glazed over and stuffed with turkey and fruitcake <<--- or Matzoh Ball soup and brisket . They (those with large media budgets) encourage you to make a list of New Year’s resolutions by promising you thin thighs, increased energy, shiny hair and therefore better and more sex. I guarantee that after a dose of prime time TV or a smut magazine session, you will encounter ads basically calling you a big loser. Bally’s laughs at your fat ass, Monster.com snubs you for not having a job that makes you want to tap dance through the aisles, and any product encouraging you to quit smoking is usually just an obligatory PSA from big tobacco companies, loaded with subliminal messages to buy three packs and get the forth for free.
So, I ask you, what’s the point of beginning a spiritual douche on January 1 when you are just adding more pressure to already sensitive subjects? I’m telling you, you will drop to the ground like Oprah Winfrey on a power walk around Chastain Park!
Please note: this is the same principal that applies to buying groceries when you are hungry – just DON’T!
ON TAP:
Got a crappy gift you wanna throw in a pool? This Saturday is WNDC's Regiftmas at Leopard Lounge.
 Kim
RELATED LINK: http:///www.kimistry101.com
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posted by Kim at 8:24 PM |
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