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Not so glad to be back.
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8/31/2004
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You know what the worst part is about being on vacation? The last two days of vacation. Those are the two days when I know everything is coming to an end, and I start worrying about the wall of shit that is going to hit me when I get back to work.
I spent the beginning of last week flyfishing the rivers of Utah. Not all of them, just the ones that had no fish in them. Sure, my buddy Russ caught one every thirty seconds or so, but I managed to keep them at bay with my horrible cast and complete inability to set a hook. I think Russ brought them with him or something. Russ sucks for outfishing me on my vacation.
I also discovered that walking in wading boots on mossy rocks in three feet of cold water is a lot harder than you think. Factor in the lack of oxygen at that altitude, divide by the amount of exercise I have not gotten in the past year, and you have me stumbling around in a river, gasping for air while the fish swim away and my fishing buddies laugh at me.
My niece and nephew provided entertainment while I was at my sister Tamara's house. I found out that Lincoln Logs are way cooler than they were when I was a kid. I also found out that they still aren't edible.
We went to a rodeo, and I sat and took pictures of people with mullets. One of them came out all blurry like that famous picture of the sasquatch. I plan on selling it to the enquirer for a million dollars and then moving to either Chicago or Idaho. I'll keep you updated. The following weekend they were having the gay rodeo. Two thoughts came to my head immediately- the first was "what kind of crowd will a gay rodeo draw in Davis County, Utah?" The second one was "hey...now that I think about it, aren't all cowboys a little gay?" Just something I have a feeling about.
The next morning I saw a headline in the local newspaper- "Davis County Man Kidnapped, Robbed, Forced to shop." Apparently the kidnappers held him at gunpoint and forced him to go shopping at target. I don't know how he handled it, but I'm sure the phrase "wouldn't you guys rather just rape me or something?" came up on the way to the store.
I had my "friend" Dave take care of my animals while I was gone. They lived and seemed healthy, if a bit skittish (they say it's contagious). I deeply appreciate him doing this for me. In fact, that exact thought was going through my mind as I opened up the fridge for a cold beer. Draped over the bottle was what appeared to be a used condom. Did Dave have sex with my refrigerator while I was gone? Wouldn't put it past him.
In order to determine whether it was a prank, I had to first determine what was in the condom. I'm still not sure...
...but it tasted sort of like ranch dressing.
 Dusty
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posted by Dusty at 9:04 PM |
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10 Comments:
That would be The 'tard twins Re and Bas.
More shameless promotion, I really should be ashamed of myself.
I'm not, but I should be.
the answer is no.
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