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Destiny's (bastard) Child
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7/5/2005
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On the 4th of July I had the task of dropping my girlfriend off at the starting line of the Peachtree Road Race. She enjoys running. Some people enjoy macrame, some are serial killers or librarians. Who am I to criticize?
I drove to the finish line at Piedmont Park to meet her, and was sort of interested to see my first Peachtree Road Race in person. By the time I walked up to the finish line, the first runner was finishing, having just run 10k in 26 minutes...also known as 4 minutes faster than it took me to get to the same point in my car, and I took a shortcut. As the elite runners crossed the line, I thought, "Holy crap, do they even let white people run in this race?" It turns out that they do, but white people are much slower. I could not believe the shape these folks were in, either. They just ran for almost thirty minutes at what amounts to a full sprint and they were barely even breathing hard.
I sweat more than that when I grate cheese. Maybe it's time to get into shape.
If you enjoy watching people, the finish of the Road Race is a good place to do it. 50,000 people of all shapes and sizes ran that race. Some were athletes, and some were not. One guy crossed the finish line with his girlfriend and they had no fewer than 27 perfectly chiseled abdominal muscles between them. I know it's not possible, but I saw it.
Three guys crossed the line wearing a veil and google eyed glasses a'la runaway bride, and I thought it was sort of funny. Then I saw about a dozen more people who had the same idea and it lost its charm. I think these races should be more theme based to attract more people like me- you know, every road race needs more non-runner jackasses to gum up the works.
I'd have one of those runner escorts run in front of me with "dusty's dreams" printed on their shirt and I'd chase them. For the sake of realism, my dreams would have to leave me in a moist fleshy heap at the finish line and keep on running, never to be seen again. Then "destiny" would catch up with me and kick the crap out of me right in front of everyone.
It would almost be like a Road Race tragic comedy, but without all of that tragedy and comedy getting in the way.
 Dusty
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posted by Dusty at 6:05 PM |
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9 Comments:
And dear you ARE in shape; round is a shape. Trust me. So how did your girlfriend place?
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