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And You Thought Your Yearbook Picture Was Embarassing
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12/13/2005
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Raise your hand if you are not a little embarrassed of your high school yearbook picture. If your hand is not raised, you either haven't graduated high school yet or you went to Timeless Fashion High.
I counted 22 mullets on one page of my high school yearbook, and yes, I was one of them. In 1991 at Fayette County High School, mullets were quite the thing to have. Knowing what I know about that school and that part of town, the mullet is probably still going strong. I'd post my yearbook picture here, but unfortunately that technology has not been invented yet so shut up. It wasn't even a good mullet and this story is not about mullets.
I don't care if you are Goth, a break dancer, or even if you were wearing head gear and your hall monitor sash. The bar of bad yearbook photos has been raised, and from now on, everyone who has a lapse in judgment can thank sweet feathery Jesus that they aren't this guy:
When my brother sent me that image it gave me a case of dorkpox that lasted for a week. Luckily I was able to stop it before it spread below the waist.
Name: Friend(s) call him Crankshaft
Occupation: "Whatever it takes to keep gas in the whip and ragged shorts on mah hips. Thinking about going into women's studies at Berkley, because I like studyin' bitches and California has the hottest bitches."
Interests: Mirrors, hittin' the weights, being naked from the waist up, finding ever more creative ways to make sure that I never get laid again.
If you could give the world one piece of advice it would be:
"Start knowing that K-fed is the hottest new rapper our world will know. The day of the unshaven douchebag is upon us, so RECOGNIZE, muphucka'- we will RISE UP. Can I say muphucka in the year book? Wait. Don't write that part down. Now it doesn't even make sense. Dammit, you're dead after school, fuckin' journalism fag."
He is either the funniest person in the world, lost a bet, or is a queefcake of proportions that can only be fathomed by our creator himself. My choice is the latter; if he was doing it to be funny, he would have worn swim fins or a propeller cap or something else to let everyone who wasn't in on the joke know that it was, in fact, a joke. Even if he lost a bet, some kind of general "Hey, I'm not actually seriously going sans-shirt gazing wistfully at the arc angel Gabriel for my yearbook picture" indicator is definitely in order.
The post production guys did an excellent job photoshopping out the cock and balls that swung mere inches from his eager lips as the shot was taken, leaving him looking as if he just discovered how to divide by zero or something. Whatever he is gazing at in the vignette picture, I can assure you that it is not an image of himself 20 years from now looking back on the choices he made in high school.
 Dusty
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posted by Dusty at 1:31 PM |
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22 Comments:
Will the sexiness ever end!
Hope you are having an inspired Christmas season, Dusty! May Santa and his elves bestow many good things upon you and the Skirt.
And here is the funniest
http://www.collegehumor.com/pictures/1600761/
Though the books tell us otherwise, if you really think about it, the answer is infinity, and that's what's on this boy's mind...
".. and then after the Oakie scouts offer me a Lexus, I'll say 'Bite me biatch, Eyes wants a INFINITY!!' and they'll fill the trunk with cash and strippers in the back seat..." blah, blah, blah...
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