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Merry December, Bitches
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12/20/2005
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This is a Christmas tree. You can call it a non-denominational-festivity-related-arboreal-American, but it will still be a Christmas tree and you are a holiday moron.
Trying to wrap my brain around the latest in pointless controversies, I realized that this might be just what society needs to help people cross partisan lines and come together for a common cause. Even my most liberal friends seem to think that taking Santa out of Christmas parades and calling it a holiday tree is ridiculous for several reasons- first, the Christmas tree/Santa thing actually has its origin in pagan rituals, so the cousin humping fundamentalists fighting to keep Christ in the Christmas tree have a little reading to do. Second, the word holiday has a root word- Holy. So the filthy anti-religious baby killers probably need to come up with a less ironic substitute name. Third (and most important), I have yet to meet anyone who has ever met anyone who was offended by the sight or mention of a Christmas tree, Menorah, Kwanzaa cake, Ramadan pinata, or any other symbol of a religious holiday.
This last point got me thinking even more about the individuals who stop drooling in their oatmeal long enough to come up with ideas like this about which they can be outraged.
Staying away from the typical arguments that The United States is or is not 400% theist and the country is or is not founded on religious principles, I finally came up with a parallel that I think most people can identify with- the ineffective/outdated co-worker.
We have all worked with or known someone like this. The guy in sales or marketing or some other department of a company who has become surrounded by smarter, more professional people and has finally become obsolete because of the natural course of events. He may have had a very useful role at one time, but now busies himself trying to invent jobs to justify his paycheck. You'd almost rather he just stayed home, as long as he didn't interfere with stuff that needs to be done. Stay with me here- it'll make sense.
Most of the organizations against which I rail regularly (PETA, most labor unions, National Organization for the Diagonally Challenged, ACLU, Christians Against Everything, Everything for the Fair Treatment of Everybody, and so on) may have had a use at their inception and probably did some real good for society. Some even still accidentally do something right now and then, but not to the tune of the billions of dollars taxpayers are forced to give them every year. For instance, being charged $90 to have union hands plug in your laptop at a convention center or risk having your legs broken does not help ensure fair wages for workers.
The Christmas debate and others like it (see PETA's latest effort to put fishing in the same category as killing puppies for another example along the same vein.) are merely evidence that these organizations know they are out of things to do, but still need to look busy enough to justify their paycheck.
From the very start, the issue of whether or not it was offensive to publicly call December 25th "Christmas Day" struck me as a reaction to a problem that never existed- that is, no one outside of the National Organization of Professional Douchebags ever complained about it. Further, their desire to propose legislation prohibiting by law the display of religious symbols seems awfully hypocritical in light of the "separation of church and state" crutch they lean on with such predictability.
Great idea, you whores- let's create a law that will take all mention of every religion out of everything so that as an entire country we can begin a comfortable regression to a bunch of culturally ignorant shitheads beating people up 'cause they ain't like us. Sounds like progress to me.
To my knowledge, no one has ever tried to enact a law mandating prayer to any particular deity in school, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with allowing people to pray, even if it is in school. As long as congress doesn't declare a national religion or make any law regarding said prayer, it's all perfectly constitutional. See how much easier it is when some things are governed by the people and for the people? And don't start crying about a slippery slope- the part about common sense is coming up.
When I was a kid in public school we made dreidels out of clay, learned how different cultures celebrated their religious holidays, ate traditional holiday foods that made me consider changing my religion, and said "under God" when we pledged allegiance to the flag. It wasn't mandatory that we worshipped Allah, Jesus, Santa, or Satan, but if we were supposed to learn something about any of those figures and didn't, we still got an F because it was stuff we were expected to know.
Nothing has really changed, and it is my contention that it won't as long as the government stays out of it. This is one of those areas that will work itself out through the common sense with which most of us were born. People will disagree about things, and the kid who doesn't want to pledge allegiance can sit out. Hurt feelings? All part of growing up, and they'll get over it. 99% of the population has the sense to understand that.
The groups trying to make a big deal out of semantics, insect rights, or any other non-issue need to rethink their strategy to guarantee next year's government grant, because as you go around the political spectrum there are lots of liberals and lots of conservatives, but not nearly enough idiots to keep them in business. The rest of us are becoming very aware that while these organizations may have had a useful purpose at one point, that time has passed for most of them. Of course, it could be part of a very subversive government program to ensure that the population doesn't lose sight of our own capacity to be thoughtful and logical. If that is the case, then bravo.
Merry Christmas.
 Dusty
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posted by Dusty at 2:10 PM |
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23 Comments:
Merry Chrisramahanukwaanzika, PC bitches.
Interesting. I did not realize you were a religious bigot too. But hey, what’s one ole unsubstantiated sweeping generalization to make a point, right? After all, they are just Christians and we can piss on them whenever we want.
FinnegansWake.jax, fl.
Have a Blessed Holiday Season!
Even though a friend of mine (saru-san.diaryland.com)pointed out that "If somebody says "Happy Holidays" to you, verbally or in a card... or even written in piss in the snow in front of your house... they are wishing you well. They are giving you a blessing. And if you are so arrogant as to refuse to accept someone's blessing, then you pretty much deserve to burn in hell." I'm still finding it an awkward and vague statement of good cheer, and I feel lame saying it.
So Happy (insert holiday based on ancient pagan ritual of your choice here)!
Now go ahead and flame me again like I dont realize what I just typed. The truth is Dust, I have read you for the last 3 years and love what you write and love when you go on and on about liberals. I just hate to see obvious talent like yours diminished by spouting the very thing the Dems yelled when Bush won a second term. But hey, flame away....
What you're left with is a manger scene, which is fine and reverential, but to think that Christianity has the reigns on what makes Christmas Christmas in this country (Rudolph, Frosty, lights, trees, wreaths, presents, food, booze, carols, Charlie Brown, the Grinch, Miracle on 34th St., Santa, elves, Elf, A Christmas Story, drunken office parties) then you are trying to reclaim a holiday that isn't yours to reclaim. Take out the non-Christian elements of Christmas and it would barely register a blip. Christmas has been a secular, non-religious holiday for over 50 years now. Time to get over it.
I hate to state the obvious but yes Christianity DOES have the reigns on what makes CHRISTmas, Christmas. If you strip the Christian traditions from Christmas then you dont have Christmas... you have something else and thats fine. If you remove Rudolph, Frosty and all the other non religious items it is still Christmas. Celebrate being a pagan or the Winter Solstice or whatever you want and call it whatever it is but without the Christian aspects of it then it is not Christmas it is something else.
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=Christmas
Enjoy!
Sadly, I agree with you. But I have to wonder, are the lack of mangers because people do not want them or because they are too afraid to take a stand? I think they are to afraid of offending some weak minded person and having the ACLU crawling up their colon. With over 80% of Americas claiming to be Christian I do not believe that 95% of the shoppers in the mall think that Christ and Christmas do not have something to do with each other.
There's room for debate as to whether the offended person is "weak minded" or whether it's a weaker mind-state to follow a doctrine based primarily on faith. Regardless, I think the truly religious people don't care about wearing in on their sleeve. They've actually been emboldened by our current administration to spread it beyond their own personal beliefs, but sometimes common sense and logic prevail (see Dover, PA).
Most people who participate in Christmas do know there's a connection between the holiday and Christ, they've just taken the Christ and the mass out of it. As a raised Catholic, non-believer who takes part in the secular trappings, I'd appreciate if the Christians would take the holiday back to its quieter and much more personal roots. What it is is a circus now, with compelled spending, over-indulgence and a focus on things, not friends and family.
Sounds very much like how the world sees the U.S. in general.
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